


Always

by ToxicPineapple



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Developing Relationships, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More Kaito angst!!!, Nightmares, Nighttime Vibes, Phone Calls, developing feelings, implied romantic feelings, late-night conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-12-01 19:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20875022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/pseuds/ToxicPineapple
Summary: Kaito still sounds unconvinced though. When he speaks again his voice has an undertone to it, like he’s anxious- or maybe more leaning towards desperate. (Shuichi is familiar with either, so really it comes down to semantics.) “Were you doing anything important? I don’t want to-”“Momota,” Shuichi interrupts gently. “I wasn’t doing anything but browsing memes. What’s the matter?”An awkward moment of silence is broken by a laugh. It’s similar to Kaito’s usual chuckle, hearty and confident, but airier, like he’s shaken. Shuichi doesn’t miss the way that it falters at the end, or the way that Kaito hesitates before speaking after he forces out the sound. “Nothing’s the matter, I just-” and that’s probably a lie, but he’s about to contradict it, it seems, so Shuichi doesn’t bother calling him out on it. “I wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”---Shuichi answers a late-night phone call.





	Always

Shuichi watches condensation on the side of his glass of water drip down onto the carpet. There’s a steadily growing puddle underneath the spot where he placed the cup but he’s more interested in watching it grow than taking care of it, or actually drinking the water. It’s getting closer to three in the morning the longer he stands here which means that theoretically he should be in bed. But it’s summer vacation and there are no rules, really. Besides, Shuichi doesn’t sleep very much normally, so it’s unlikely that he’d be getting any extra snoozing time when he doesn’t even have anywhere to be in the morning.

He picks up his glass of water and tilts it back into his mouth. Water always tastes best at this time of day. (Or, night, rather.) There’s nothing else for him to focus on really except for the crisp coolness of the liquid and how wet and slippery the glass feels underneath his palm. He lowers it to the counter again when he’s finished drinking it in the interest of not dropping the glass. He’ll clean it in the morning, but right now he’d like to be back in bed, scrolling through memes or something online.

His uncle and aunt are out of town because of a case. They offered to bring Shuichi along, but he said he’d rather stay behind in case any of his friends came calling. As much as he misses them, and would like to be with them right now, he can’t say that he really regrets the decision. It gets lonely around dinner, without his aunt here to cook anything or his uncle around to make stupid puns and ask about his day, but he’s gotten a lot of visitors from Hope’s Peak. It helps to think ahead when it comes to things like this. Shuichi would hate to be out of town in the event that somebody might need him.

And aside from the oppressive emptiness of the house, he’s enjoyed his time alone. He’s slept in a lot of places that aren’t his bed recently, as one tends to do when there’s no one around to judge him. He can cook, too, so it’s not like he’s been starving. (Though not as well as his aunt, certainly.) And in the quiet he’s had a lot of time to read new mystery novels. Even though he hasn’t actually read a lot of new mystery novels- generally he’s just browsed Tumblr until the sun comes up and he remembers to fall asleep.

Anyway, he’d rather sleep in his bed tonight, when sleep inevitably catches up with him, so he slips back into his room and drops down onto his bed. Shuichi briefly contemplates pulling his blanket up from where it’s bunched at the foot of the bed, but he decides against it, on the grounds that it’s summer and he’s hot. If he gets cold, drenched in his own sweat or something, he can always just grab the blanket. He’s comfortable for now.

He’s barely reached out to grab his phone, though, when all of a sudden it starts vibrating, and a shrill ringtone comes from it. Shuichi winces, grabbing at it and checking to see what’s going on. His heart is pounding in surprise, and he’s certain he doesn’t have an alarm set for three in the fucking morning- and he doesn’t, it seems. He’s being called. He checks caller ID, which tells him that he’s being called by Kaito… who’s usually out like a light by eleven. It’s weird that he’d be up, and calling somebody, no less.

Which means that unlike with Kokichi, Shuichi can’t really afford to let it go to voicemail. So he swipes the answer icon and puts the phone to his ear.

“Momota?” His voice lilts uncertainly; Kaito’s never called him this late at night before. Random calls from the astronaut in training aren’t surprising, per se, because Kaito has a flip phone and its texting capabilities are… lacking, to say the least, but at three in the morning? Please. “Are you alright?”

“Saihara, hey,” Kaito’s voice sounds crackly, on the other end, like he’s speaking to Shuichi in an area with really bad reception. Somehow, though, Shuichi doesn’t think that’s the reason for the odd quality to it. “Sorry, I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

Well, he might as well be honest. “No, I was awake.” He assures softly. “Is something wrong?” He already asked a version of this question but it doesn’t hurt to reiterate because Kaito hasn’t answered it yet.

Kaito still sounds unconvinced though. When he speaks again his voice has an undertone to it, like he’s anxious- or maybe more leaning towards desperate. (Shuichi is familiar with either, so really it comes down to semantics.) “Were you doing anything important? I don’t want to-”

“Momota,” Shuichi interrupts gently. “I wasn’t doing anything but browsing memes. What’s the matter?”

An awkward moment of silence is broken by a laugh. It’s similar to Kaito’s usual chuckle, hearty and confident, but airier, like he’s shaken. Shuichi doesn’t miss the way that it falters at the end, or the way that Kaito hesitates before speaking after he forces out the sound. “Nothing’s the matter, I just-” and that’s probably a lie, but he’s about to contradict it, it seems, so Shuichi doesn’t bother calling him out on it. “I wanted to hear your voice, that’s all.”

“Did something happen to you?” Shuichi sits up on his bed, holding the phone tighter against his ear. “Are you safe? Do you need me to-”

“No! No, nothing happened, I’m at home.” The astronaut assures quickly, another one of those forced laughs bubbling up and popping from his mouth. “I’m fine, there’s no danger.” He stops for a long moment, like he’s really not sure that he wants to continue. “Just, y’know.” Shuichi hears him swallow. “Wanted to talk to my sidekick.”

Humming, the detective slowly relaxes back into his bed. It certainly sounds like Kaito is inside, and the guy may be prideful to the point of self detriment but he wouldn’t lie about something like  _ that.  _ He’s probably safe, so he doesn’t have to worry. At least not about anything to that extent. He’s still going to worry about what it was that made Kaito want to hear his voice. Though, if Shuichi is being honest, he has a pretty good idea of what that is. “Yeah?” He asks quietly, rather than probing for more details.

“Uh-huh.” Kaito sniffles on the other end of the line, and Shuichi wonders for a moment if he’s crying. “Can you, uhm,” he pauses, like he doesn’t know what to say. “This is stupid, I’m sorry. Nevermind. I’m just being dumb.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Shuichi reassures, messing with the strings on his sweatpants while he talks. “What were you going to ask?”

“Can you just…” another one of those long, drawn out silences. Kaito must be trying to work up the courage to say what he needs. Shuichi resolves not to speak until he does. “Can you just talk to me? About anything, it doesn’t matter, I just- I want to… I need to know that you’re…”

_ I’m what?  _ Shuichi thinks, but he doesn’t ask that. Instead he hums out an  _ alright  _ and starts talking. “Alright, well… I’m not entirely sure what to talk about, but I can try.” He hears a quiet hum from the end, indicating that Kaito is listening, and so he continues to speak. “I’ve never told you this before, I think because your space knowledge is far more vast than mine is, but I went through a phase where I was also really infatuated with the idea of seeing the stars. Being an astronaut, and all that.”

“Really?” Kaito speaks, perhaps without meaning to. “I didn’t know that.”

“I don’t tend to share those things.” Shuichi smiles though. “I didn’t think I was actually going to become an astronaut, but I wanted to, in the kind of way where you don’t have too much of a passion for something but you like the idea of being passionate about it. I loved the idea of space travel, and I still do, but I don’t think being an astronaut is really cut out for me. That was the realisation that sort of made me drop the interest. Though I still love listening to you talk about the stars.”

The astronaut is silent now, which Shuichi supposes is fitting. He keeps talking anyway.

“I like hearing you talk about it because you make everything, even things that aren’t as brilliant and enchanting as space, seem exciting. You’re very… it’s hard to describe, I suppose passionate would be the right word? How would you turn fervour into an adjective?” Shuichi laughs a bit at himself, and he hears Kaito’s low chuckle on the other end too, and it sounds less ragged, suggesting that he’s feeling a bit better. The detective doesn’t want to speak too soon, though. “Your enthusiasm for things is contagious. I don’t really think of myself as a very inspired person, but you make me feel more excited about things. It’s hard to remember to do things because I want to at times.”

After a moment, Kaito mumbles, “Thanks, Saihara.”

“Can you tell me why you called?” Shuichi asks quietly. “You don’t have to, I’m just… curious.”

“It’s for a stupid reason.” Shuichi waits, though. “Small nightmare. Nothing big, just… the kind of thing where I needed to make sure you were… god, it sounds ridiculous talking about it when I know it’s nothing but a dream.” Kaito’s laugh sounds again but it’s more bitter. Self deprecating. “Sorry, you don’t need to-”

“I have them too.”

“Huh?”

“Nightmares, I mean. Sometimes I need to check and make sure that you’re still around.” Shuichi lifts one of his hands, spreads his fingers apart like he’s holding up the ceiling. “Your voice is comforting to me, too. So I…” he falters, feeling his face warm up. He didn’t  _ really  _ mean to share that detail. (Kaito doesn’t need to know about his crush. It’ll die down eventually, as most of his crushes do, and things will inevitably become less awkward.) “A-Anyway, I’m always happy to talk to you if that’s all you need.”

“What if I need more than that?” Kaito’s voice is faint, Shuichi barely hears him and they’re talking over the phone.

“I’m not equipped to be your support system,” Shuichi admits. “At least not entirely. But I’ll be whatever I can be if it means I can support you in  _ some  _ ways. I’m available for comfort, and advice, and venting space… and talking early in the morning for no reason other than you wanted to hear my voice.” He smiles slightly. “I’d like to be there for you in any way that I can.”

Kaito is quiet.

Shuichi wonders if he said the wrong thing, if he should go back and revise, but-   
  


“Thanks.”

“Ah, of course.” Shuichi opens his mouth to continue, but Kaito cuts him off.

“No, I mean it, thanks for- for saying that. That I can’t just rely on you.” He sniffs. “It feels unmanly to rely on anybody but it’s so much easier talking to you and I need to remember that I can’t put that on you.”

“If the alternative is you bottling it all up,” Shuichi frowns. “Then I’d rather be your sole confidant.”

“I couldn’t do that.” Kaito chuckles, but it still sounds empty and bitter. “I’d sooner keep everything inside of me until I explode than burden you like that.” Then he sighs, and he sounds frustrated, and Shuichi wonders if Kaito would ever consider being this vulnerable if it wasn’t three in the morning after a nightmare he had. “I wish I could talk to you.” He says quietly. “I mean, you’re always here and open to it, but I wish I could make myself…”

“I understand.” Shuichi murmurs. He wonders what face Kaito is making right now. If he’s crying. If the astronaut would let him reach out and brush away those tears. “It’s not easy, talking to people. Especially when you don’t do it a lot.”

“Yeah.” Kaito agrees.

  
And then neither of them says anything. All Shuichi hears on the other end is the sound of Kaito breathing, and he stares up at the ceiling, tracing the tiles with his eyes. It’s dark in his room but the curtains are drawn partially and little slivers of lights from the streetlamps stream in through the cracks. It’s enough for the ceiling to be illuminated; for shadows to dance as he wiggles his fingers around in the air.

Quietly, Kaito’s voice asks, “You still there, Saihara?”

And without meaning to, Shuichi replies, “Always.” He’d like to blame it on sleep deprivation, or something similar, but the truth is… he means that. And the way Kaito’s breath hitches through the phone, maybe the astronaut sees it as well.

“Can you… just stay there until I fall asleep? On the line, I mean?” Kaito sounds child-like, almost, afraid of the dark. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Of course,” Shuichi murmurs. He’ll be up for a while longer anyway. “I’ll stay on the line as long as you need me to, Momota.”

Kaito falls asleep before Shuichi does, likely, but the detective doesn’t have any way to ascertain, because he ends up falling asleep himself at some point while the call is still going. When he wakes up in the morning, his phone is burning hot and almost dead from being on for so long, but it’s worth it, he thinks, when he sees the text message from Kaito that came in a few hours ago.

**Author's Note:**

> mmmmmm Kaito angst *slurping noises*
> 
> anyway this is my sixty ninth fic and yeah that felt way more important than an author's note bye


End file.
